Rape is the only crime on the books for which arguing that the temptation to commit it was too clear and obvious to resist is treated as a defence. For every other crime, we call that a confession.
I’ve gotten more angry asks about this post than I have actual reblogs.
I literally put my coffee down, stared at the screen and said “Holy shit…”
this is still my favorite post ever
Richard Dawkins’ only use for women is when he can trot out behavior against them as proof of why religion is bad. All other acts by women should be criminalized.
So this is a free speech issue, in the sense that women on the internet who are trying to exercise this right by expressing feminist ideas are facing rape and death threats. And not just women. As someone who writes about men’s rights activism on a regular basis, I get harassed as well. Some of it is awful, but what I get is really nothing compared with the kind of relentless harassment that Sarkeesian gets. I got death threats the other day after writing about her, and it’s very telling that the only time this happens is when I write about her. Guys get so mad at her that they are even threatening to kill people who defend her. Other people from the gaming community and beyond who have spoken out for Sarkeesian, like Joss Whedon, have faced similar attacks.
Recently here in the comments section, the subject of jury duty at rape trials has come up. One of our readers commented that he voted “not guilty” while sitting on the jury at a rape trial simply because he could.
Another reader called that irresponsible. I imagine at least a 98% of the society would agree with her.
Well, 98% of society has been wrong before.
With this important subject in mind, I make the following pledge as an activist, and as an American that believes fully in the rule of law. Should I be called to sit on a jury for a rape trial, I vow publicly to vote not guilty, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that the charges are true.
If you are sitting on a jury hearing a case of rape, the only way to serve justice is to acquit. Better a rapist would walk the streets than a system that merely mocks justice enslave another innocent man.
A Voice For Men (MRA website) founder Paul Elam would rather see a male rapist walk the street freely than charged for his crime.
He admits that he would never convict a rapist, even one who is unequivocally guilty. He claims it’s because the “system is rigged” (ironically, it is, but not in favor of the victim), but it’s obvious that he would really do this because he doesn’t think rape should be a crime.
But MRAs are more about helping men with legitimate problems than oppressing women at every opportunity, right? Get the fuck away from me right now if you don’t think the MRM is a hate movement.
This is disgusting and deplorable.
Male survivors charge that feminists see rape as a “man vs. woman” issue… The distinction is that while many women, and some men, are victimized by rape, all women are oppressed by it, and any victimization of women occurs in a context of oppression most men simply do not understand.
For myself, I don’t need for rape to be gender neutral to feel validated as a male survivor. And I certainly don’t need to denigrate women, or to attack feminists, to explain why I was abused by the (male) police, ridiculed by my (male) friends, and marginalized by the (male dominated) society around me. It is precisely because we have been “reduced” to the status of women that other men find us so difficult to deal with. It was obvious to me at the police station that I was held in contempt because I was a victim- feminine, hence perceived as less masculine. Had I been an accused criminal, even a rapist, chances are I would have been treated with more respect, because I would have been seen as more of a man. To cross that line, to become victims of the violence which works to circumscribe the lives of women, marks us somehow as traitors to our gender. Being a male rape survivor means I no longer fit our culture’s neat but spacious definition of masculinity, as one empowered, one always in control. Rather than continue to deny our experience, male survivors need to challenge that definition.
When Ripa says “Everybody does it,” she proves her own point. In attempting to explain away Franco’s behaviour, she reminds us all that this situation (and worse, much worse) is all too common, that it happens around us, to our family and friends and to strangers on the subway all the time. And that that’s fine with us. Because James Franco is a “victim” of social media, here. Because when a teenage girl is drugged and raped, CNN bemoans the “ruined” “promising futures” of her rapists. Because when Daisy Coleman tried to speak out against her attacker, her entire family faced further harassment online and in their daily lives. Franco’s clumsy propositioning of a teenage fan is not the same thing as the Steubenville rapes or Woody Allen’s child molestation or David Letterman’s alleged longstanding affairs with female staff members, but all of it intersects to form a narrative telling young women that society doesn’t care about their side of things. That this is nothing, it happens to everybody, “dont tell.”
I am ashamed to say that this was taking place yesterday at Arizona State University. This man proclaimed all day to everyone who passed by that he believed if girls wore reveling clothing out or choose to drink alcohol, that they deserved to be raped.
My school attracts some sick people.
What is this shit? I can’t believe I missed this guy, if I would have seen him there’s no rhetoric that could’ve saved him.
Good ole brother dean, please come give it to him Heston
This happens at U of A as well. Brother Dean and the pastor visit the college and the local high schools. Students, teachers, staff, and visitors are all bombarded with a man telling us that we deserve rape and hell. It’s been going on for several years and nobody will stop them.
Men want what they want.
So much of our culture caters to giving men what they want. A high school student invites model Kate Upton to attend his prom, and he’s congratulated for his audacity. A male fan at a Beyoncé concert reaches up to the stage to slap her ass because her ass is there, her ass is magnificent, and he wants to feel it. The science fiction fandom community is once again having a heated discussion, across the Internet, about the ongoing problem of sexual harassment at conventions — countless women are telling all manner of stories about how, without their consent, they are groped, ogled, lured into hotel rooms under false pretenses, physically lifted off the ground, and more.
But men want what they want. We should all lighten up.
It’s hard not to feel humorless as a woman and a feminist, to recognize misogyny in so many forms, some great and some small, and know you’re not imagining things. It’s hard to be told to lighten up because if you lighten up any more, you’re going to float the fuck away. The problem is not that one of these things is happening, it’s that they are all happening, concurrently and constantly.
These are just songs. They are just jokes. They are just movies. It’s just a hug. They’re just breasts. Smile, you’re beautiful. Can’t a man pay you a compliment? In truth, this is all a symptom of a much more virulent cultural sickness — one where women exist to satisfy the whims of men, one where a woman’s worth is consistently diminished or entirely ignored.
I do consider “rape culture” to be a useful and accurate way of describing the way in which sexual violence has been normalized and sexualized in our culture. There is simply no denying that, when we see male students “joking” about raping female students, as we did recently at the University of Ottawa, when fraternities are untouchable on campus despite the fact that the “Greek scene” is a cesspool of toxic masculinity and sexual violence, when students at Canadian universities participate in “rape chants” during frosh week while fellow students are actually being raped on campus, when violent pornography that depicts sexual violence is defended as “just a fantasy,” or when we learn that acting out rape scenes is a way for us to recover from our own trauma, when women are afraid to walk alone at night, when women are afraid to be home alone at night in their own homes – this is a rape culture. We’re living it, every day.
Do you still need more proof of rape culture?
As Noam Chomsky once pointed out for Z Magazine, old media types from the institutional bodies like American Enterprise Institute tend to regurgitate the same ideas with a reliability that is equally impressive and infuriating. While assuring the public that rape is a terrible crime, writers like Caroline Kitchens and Heather McDonald of right-wing think tank The Manhattan Institute try to claim that feminists have blown this whole rape culture thing way out of proportion.
Apparently, many women disagree. On Tuesday there were more than 1 million responses on the #RapeCultureIsWhen hashtag started by a frustrated Zerlina Maxwell in response to these right-wing narratives.
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Keep speaking up!!!!!
Rape culture is something that men should care about not because it might affect them, but because it affects anyone at all. Men should care about women’s safety, full stop, without having the concept somehow relate back to them. Everyone should care about everyone else’s well-being – that’s what good people are supposed to do.
This was actually said by a prominent member of the Men’s rights community on Reddit who then proceeded to get 24(!) upvotes:
Wearing a skirt has consequences. If we use state violence to protect women from the consequences of her choice to wear a skirt, we remove her agency. This man didn’t assault her, didn’t touch her… all he did was take a picture of what her choice in clothing exposed to the public.
How is that criminal to the point of deserving of state violence upon him?
This is saying that protecting women from the consequences of their choices in clothing is more important than men’s freedom.
Now that’s what I call a real men’s rights issue. Could you expect anything less from a hate group?
Screencap (and more info) over at the always excellent Man Boobz.
Mens Rights Activism: hard at work defending sexual harassment.
men’s rights: where a man’s right to sexually harass a woman based on whether they’ve decided she meets some standard of “modesty” she has no say in, should supersede a woman’s right to basic personal boundaries and human decency.
men’s rights: when a woman freely making the choice to do whatever she wants with her own body, not affecting anyone else in any way, needs to “accept the consequences of her actions”- but men who choose to harass women shouldn’t have to face any consequences for THAT choice, even though it hurts someone else.
men’s rights: a “movement” (purposeless online misogynistic circlejerk) where rights are defined as behaviors that you feel entitled to carry out without being even mildly criticized for it, no matter how many other people are negatively impacted by that behavior.
men’s rights: where being asked to show basic human decency towards women is “infringing” upon a man’s freedom not to do that, even though that is how a society is supposed to fucking function. because fuck them, you shouldn’t have to consider other human beings when you make your choices. how dare they?
men’s rights: you got yours (basic human rights). so fuck everybody else. now, let’s talk about how poor people don’t deserve to earn a living wage, because then the services you use every day might cost you an extra $20 per year.
men’s rights: a movement dedicated to preserving and forwarding the rights of men to continue the subjugation and abuse of women.
Rape culture means more than a culture in which rape is routine. Rape culture involves the systematic silencing of victims even as women and children are instructed to behave like potential victims at all times. In order to preserve rape culture, society at large has to believe two different things at once. Firstly, that women and children lie about rape, but that they should also act as if rape will be the result if they get into a strange car, walk down a strange street or wear a sexy outfit. Secondly, if it happens, it’s their own fool fault for not respecting the unwritten rules.
This paradox involves significant mental gymnastics. But as more and more people come forward with accusations, as the pattern of historical and ongoing abuse of power becomes harder to ignore, the paradox gets harder to maintain. We are faced with two alternatives: either women and children are lying about rape on an industrial, organised scale, or rape and sexual abuse are endemic in this society, and have been for centuries. Facing up to the reality of the latter is a painful prospect.